remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize