If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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