do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I need to align my fucking chakras
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
