I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
