I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
