i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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