i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
