TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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