She's the barista slut.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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