Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
