You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
