Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
