I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
