I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
