Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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