I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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