I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You can't just leave with hair like that
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
