do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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