Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
