Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize