I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
