Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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