Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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