I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
