What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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