I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
