just come out here and I will go home with you...
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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