shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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