I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
