p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
