I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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