i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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