2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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