I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
