Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
