i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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