So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
