he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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