My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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