susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
