That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
