You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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