is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
