stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
