we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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