You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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