everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So much Jack, so little girl.
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