Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize