windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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