:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
