Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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