why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize