so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
