the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
