he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
