You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
