my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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