I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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