left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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