I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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